Page 15 of 15 FirstFirst 123456789101112131415
Results 281 to 287 of 287

Thread: It Happens

  1. #281
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    3,761
    Thanks
    1,732
    Thanked 2,148 Times in 657 Posts

    Re: It Happens

    TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
    throws the milk away

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy
    grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income

    ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
    your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
    for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to
    produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
    the cow has dropped dead.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
    dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
    You still only have two cows.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
    cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
    twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
    market it worldwide.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows,
    but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ezy Rider For This Useful Post:


  3. #282
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 18 Times in 11 Posts

    Re: It Happens


  4. The Following User Says Thank You to StarChile For This Useful Post:


  5. #283
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in California
    Posts
    6,777
    Thanks
    1,028
    Thanked 1,920 Times in 761 Posts

    Re: It Happens

    .
    "Watch Out For Your Ears!"

    "We don't want to be classed in any category" - HENDRIX

    “If you can play, you can play anything. I don’t like classifications.” - Buddy Rich

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MourningStar For This Useful Post:


  7. #284
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 18 Times in 11 Posts

    Re: It Happens


  8. The Following User Says Thank You to StarChile For This Useful Post:


  9. #285
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in California
    Posts
    6,777
    Thanks
    1,028
    Thanked 1,920 Times in 761 Posts

    Re: It Happens

    .
    "Watch Out For Your Ears!"

    "We don't want to be classed in any category" - HENDRIX

    “If you can play, you can play anything. I don’t like classifications.” - Buddy Rich

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to MourningStar For This Useful Post:


  11. #286
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in California
    Posts
    6,777
    Thanks
    1,028
    Thanked 1,920 Times in 761 Posts

    Re: It Happens

    .
    "Watch Out For Your Ears!"

    "We don't want to be classed in any category" - HENDRIX

    “If you can play, you can play anything. I don’t like classifications.” - Buddy Rich

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to MourningStar For This Useful Post:


  13. #287
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    48
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked 18 Times in 11 Posts

    Re: It Happens

    ^
    LOL - i've done that!

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Powered by vBitty (VBTT) 4 for XBT v1.1 CUSTOM by Toolmanwill